A Shattered Mirror?

We are close, lets fix the shattered mirror

The Abstract: This is a post, many will really wonder about. Maybe why I decided to talk about this, how over-talked it is, and how sick and tired they are of hearing it. But with recent events, headlines, and speculations, I decided to shed light deeper into the darkness of the Lebanese Civil War. It could pose as a good reminder, and ultimately a wake up call to many in our nation, many of which seem to have forgotten this deadly part of our history.  This post was made possible, truly, through the help of Fares Hallak (please refer to the post “Sects and The City: The Forgotten Sect Of Lebanon“) who I love collaborating with lately. Fares Hallak suggested that I speak of the Lebanese civil war on my blog, something that seriously damaged his sect  and of course the sects of others, so I took his advice. Fares was also kind enough to talk to a family friend, who really faced the flames of this Civil War, survived it, and provided me with her insights. This post was a 5 day process, as I really wanted to make it perfect. Most of what I write is the story Madeline Saliba, via Fares with some of my own story. I describe graphic things (apparently), but please do not take it as me “igniting more hatred”…. I want to do the opposite of that. This is part of our nation’s history, and something people should wake up to.  Bare with me folks. *Deep Breath*. Here goes:

Her story: She described herself as Beirut. She was a woman, beautiful, wise (wa3yeh), and envied. She was married at 27 to a man she fell in love with from the next neighborhood. She had 3 children with this man, and lived a very happy life. “Every marriage has it’s difficulties”, she said… but that doesn’t mean it isn’t beautiful. Like Beirut, Madeline’s world came crashing down. With fighting erupting all over Beirut, Madeline urged her husband to get out, and flee to her hometown of Zahle. But the proud Beiruti in him refused to leave, he was afraid of looters, and always reassured her that the fighting will stop, and everything will get back to normal. “It did not”, she simply states. Time  passed, but the fighting did not, and Madeline very rarely ventured into the streets alone. Her children would stay at home,while her husband went out to “try and make a living”. “I used to leave the building only to the small deli bellow, get what I need and return quickly”, she recalls. She lives in a “mixed-neighborhood, and says that neighbors and brothers turned against each other.  4 years into the Civil War Ibrahim, her husband, went out, following his daily routine, so he can make some money to provide for his family… two days passed and Ibrahim did not return. Ibrahim did not get lost, he did not abandon his family, his city, and his love… in fact Ibrahim was found in Damour, on January 22nd… two days after the “Damour Massacre”. “He had his throat slit, and his hawiyeh (I.D card) on his chest.” Madeline’s children, grew up not knowing their father very well, and the oldest, a student at LIU, has only very minimal memories of him. The picture of him on the wall, really displays his absence and longing. Ibrahim won’t walk his daughter down the isle, watch his sons graduate, or be a part of his grandchildren’s life.  Madeline say’s looking at Beirut was like watching her reflection in the mirror, shattering and unclear. Today, Madeline’s suffering during the civil war still plays a part in her life, and in the life of many Lebanese, who like her, lost someone or something to a bloody war.

My Rant: It saddens me to hear stories like this, or to even think of it happening again. Headlines recently talk a great deal about war in Lebanon with Israel, tensions rising along sectarian and political lines as well doesn’t seem to be promising either. But really… is it the people’s fault? I would say yes and no. No because our leaders are the ones who constantly pour the oil onto us, then ignite the flame, but it is our fault too… I mean we have the capacity to think for ourselves and make rational proper decisions. At least most of us do. No? This really angers me, wait… ENRAGES me. Think about it for one second, because of this war we have millions upon millions of Lebanese living abroad, most of which have lost their Lebanese identity may I add, and many of us continue to leave, and close the doors to Lebanon for good. “It’s not the war that makes us leave, it’s the recent economic situation”, is what I hear a lot. Are you bloody kidding me? It’s the economic situation? How was our “economic situation” before the Civil War? Amazing. What makes our economic situation today so terrible? It’s the aftermath of a 15 year war, the reconstruction of the streets WE destroyed and an economy we brought crumbling to the ground is it not? Oh and… AND the same idiot leaders we seem to be STILL following today (ones who have thousands of people’s blood on their hands)? “We don;t have leaders in Lebanon”, is another one I get. THEN DON NOT VOTE FOR ANYBODY! IF YOU DON’T VOTE NOBODY GETS THE SEAT! UGH!

It’s something I cannot imagine myself, loosing someone in such a manner… to loose someone you loved and grew up with. My family was very fortunate during this civil war, my father, like many others, left Lebanon (forcefully by his parents) to get an education, and none were lost or passed during the violent years and fighting in Zahle and greater area.  My aunt, in Canada, FEARS the word Beirut, as she has not been there for 36 years. She left the day after her wedding, and passed an area in Beirut where snippers shot at her car, and nearly killed her and the passengers. That could be my dad’s fault though, he decided to take that route to “get to the airport faster” lol… something he tells me all the time. He laughs about how when your young (bi shabeibak), you don’t fear these things…. fair enough. But thats it, if you did not fear a war and snippers shooting at you, won’t today’s “shabeb” be the same way? I hope not! I for one hand really am appalled by the stories I hear of the Civil War, I am angered, saddened, and even though was not part of it…ASHAMED! I recently tweeted a picture of a Lebanese coin from 1968, 7 years or so before the civil war, for sure a coin not in use today, but it got me thinking a bit… the years of glory this coin has seen! The wars! Who knows who’s hand it has passed through… a militia man, a beggar, a rich man…heck maybe even Madeline!

The Advice: The shattered mirror seems to have been glued back together, but it is still foggy and dusty. Maybe we should work on cleaning it to the point of clarity, instead of breaking it once more…wake up. Wake up.

* Thanks again Fares Hallak, through you my blog become more insightful and intriguing — My reporter almost :d *